some of this and some of that

there isn't much that i miss about being in a relationship...
aside from the semi-consistent intimate time and having someone around to jump on any of my bandwagons, there are a lot of things i can get by without.

while at a show tonight i don't really know what came over me but i started to get sort of bummed on not being with someone and pretty nostalgic at the notion of "love".

maybe it was the low lighting, the buzzing of the guitars or the lyrics about feeling everything. i bet they all sort of contributed but what really got to me was watching as so many men in this crowd gently rubbed or affectionately touched the backs or legs of the girls they were with. something so simple...it resonates deeply with me...

it's this small gesture i miss most...those moments where the person touches you because they simply HAVE to....because nothing can better translate how they feel about you than that contact. it's like being told you're needed and wanted, that nothing would be the same without you and they don't even want to think about that possibility...days, weeks, months, years, lifetimes can instantly be seen and you know that there are going to be tons of beginnings but never an ending...at least for that moment...and you get all of this without words ever being spoken. it's insane to me how your senses and emotions come alive when a person you care about touches you. all this transferred through fingertips...through a simple motion, a slight grip, a gentle rub...the heat from that hand warming the skin beneath your clothes, something you can still feel after they've removed it.

whatever that magic is...it's good and like i said...i miss it

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speaking of the show...

it was ted leo in a solo effort at a loft space at the corner of fulton and damen.
i'm pretty sure it is the same building that anton used to screen at when he actually had a job but i hadn't been there in almost 6 years so i might be wrong.

tim kinsella of joan of arc and cap n jazz fame and older brother to mike kinsella from one of my favorite bands american football was co-headlining and did a solo thing as well much to my delight. dudes like tim and mike totally make me think i could pick up an electric guitar and tour the world making up small harmonies and singing slightly off key...maybe in 20-oh nine.

well i still have a story i think most would enjoy but first...you'll need a brief introduction to get the joke

...on several occasions throughout his set, TL would state that he was leaving his guitar "a little wet"...which was referring to this sort of off tuned sound. it was in a effort to support a steady bit of stage banter and probably deflect the fact that he kept playing out of tune...but anything that he said was laughed at by most present...keeping things pretty status quo.

the most memorable part of the night besides hearing the songs i wanted to from mr. leo (although on a side note most songs did not translate well to a solo effort) was this...

ted leo: this is a love song...
kid in crowd: make us cry
ted leo: i haven't made you cry yet?? i'm not doing my job apparently
lady from crowd: i'm crying from my crotch

COMPLETE SILENCE

ted leo: i didn't quite catch that...all i heard is blah blah CROTCH

small pause

some other dude in crowd: it's a little wet

huzzah!

oh and to top it off, the poem guy was there and did a poem about ted leo...if you frequented the fireside as much as i did as a teenager you totally know who i'm talking about and that just made your day.