oh i wish

this wasn't way creepy or wasn't too good to be true

http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/roo/937761161.html

phone fun

11.29 handlebar breakfast intensity

11.28 gabe doesn't like pictures

11.28 sophie makes a bed

11.21 sophie loves the playground!

11.20 kai time = best birthday present ever

giving thanks

when asked what am i thankful for...my answer is that i'm thankful for stuff every day, i don't need a commemorative day to make my feelings real.

my cousin didn't think that answer was appropriate and told me it wasn't thoughtful

maybe it wasn't...

i mean i don't really get thanksgiving...it's a time to get together...gorge yourself stupid and relish in being lazy.

i like food...i like eating...but a holiday which basically tells you to eat like it's your last meal and then eat like that again and again...shows me there is something wrong with this countries relationship with food.

i will admit i like having the day off from work and who doesn't enjoy the idea of being lazy...but i do that on any given weekend so this remains no more special than any other day.

maybe it's the getting together with your family thing that draws people to this holiday...i guess i can get behind that...

unfortunately that doesn't really work for me either...i love my family but they can be a bit much...holidays make them more intense than usual. i've been a loaner for so long sometimes i can't shut it off. so although i get a really warm reception when i wind up at these things i usually do my best to avoid them all together. i just end up sitting in a corner over analyzing everyone and shaking my head way too much.

i don't know...i'm just this person.

i will say that although holidays make me loopy, this is the beginning of the time of year where i just can't help but be in a good mood. there is an allure about it all. there is a different smell in the air...people are more tolerable...the city itself looks sparkling. holding hands, huddling for warmth, hot cocoa, autumn leaves, first snow, furry boots, cashmere scarfs, blinking lights, fireplaces, buzz, buzz, buzz...it all screams out to me. so although thanksgiving doesn't resonate with me...the beginning it represents brings out my best.

and to satisfy my cousin...today i'm thankful for
little brothers
my father's features
my mother's heart
my parents faith in me
15yrs of sade...2yrs of hank and dio
those blue eyes
my records
real BFFs
flannel sheets
living in a bubble and all it offers
someone special who told me i'm more important and meant it

twinsies

he told me that with my glasses i have a "ugly betty" thing going on...
racist...

tuesday night

glasses and tattoos

it's true

finally an update

it's too late to be witty so bear with me

i've been back from portland/seattle for a week now and am still trying to wrap my head around a normal schedule
finally have a job...actually 2 and i'm trying hard to finish up with this semester of school
the eye tick is almost gone but a couple of things that weigh heavy on me make it kick into overdrive
i haven't been in the mood to update lately...but that always has a way of changing

a cliff notes version of my nationals weekend in portland and seattle
we took 2nd in the nation...fell to gotham...again...i just want to beat that team once
lots of crying, lots of laughter, a cookie shaped wood medal and tons of positivity
compliments galore
only got to see a fraction of what portland had to offer...it will be visited again
i had my first train ride across state lines...it was awesome & i even visited the dining cart
spent quality time with my favorite travel buddy...she loathed my nike rifts the whole time :)
fell asleep in the most comfortable bed i have ever slept in...thank you edgewater
my hotel room had a fireplace and the best shower ever
seattle fucking rules!
i'm in love with pike's public market
i wish we had produce like that in chicago
i had the best goat cheese i have ever tasted from a town that's home to the world's largest egg
damn there are a lot of hobos in seattle!
decrime and i made a commitment to move to the pacific northwest in 3 years if not sooner
fiction, diablo, decrime gossip session on plane ride home
larry our flight attendant who incidentally had a crush on me which resulted in free booze for fiction!
wishing i could spend a couple weeks exploring washington state

Portland Pictures


Seattle Pictures

Pikes Market Pictures

the art of drowning

how is it...
i'm going to be 26 in a little over a week
and i'm still playing the same games
getting wrecked emotionally
thinking things will be different when everything stays the same

mope mope
gripe gripe

interpol on repeat for at least the next 2 weeks...maybe the next 2 months
welcome winter

i know you're pessimistic...but

THIS IS HISTORY IN THE MAKING

anarchy at the polls

in the last election i was old enough to vote but didn't...we all see how that turned out...
so in an effort to not blame myself for another four years of turmoil i made my way to the local polls and did my civic duty.

although illinois always seems to turn up blue, in the end there was something somewhat enticing about actually participating in the process for this election.

for a while i told my mom there was no way in hell i was going to vote...it seemed like a waste of time in my book and in all honesty i'm not even familar with all the issues (although i'm not sure how you can be). in my mind i see someone who looks fair and someone who doesn't but neither actually represents me or my interests. so the less of the two evils gets my vote right? well what is the point of that?

she told me if nothing it would be something to tell my kids...i voted in the first election where a non whitey had a shot of being the next PUSA. that seemed cool enough so i gave in.

there wasn't a line at my local school which was a sigh of relief (i hate lines) and a cause for concern in my mind (this is a neighborhood filled with Obama signs). i give my idea to this young girl, i sign my name and she gives me a ballot. tells me to go behind some metal contraption and fill out my card. i get there and read the instructions...i'm not a stupid girl but the way the ballot is set up could be really confusing...but i press on. i realize there is nothing to punch my choices...oh wait apparently you don't punch choices, but instead connect these two parts of an arrow...but alas no pen...so i dig in my purse and find one...and begin...the instructions don't say much about whether or not the line has to be straight...what if you only fill it in half way...what if you go outside of the pre marked arrow lines...so i just do what i can.

i realize that i know relatively nothing about everyone else on the ballot besides the presidential nominees. i vote democrat where i can and if the option is for green i vote that. the whole backside of the ballot revolved around people who wanted to retain their positions in the courts. i abstained from those...i have no idea who any of these people are. this whole process has me wishing i followed politics closer.

i finish up and then i put my ballot through the electronic counter...they give me a voting receipt (i want a fucking sticker) and they say bye. as i go to put my pen back in my purse a woman says...wait...can we have our specialty pen back. i tell her the pen was mine...she asks if i voted with that pen...i say yes...she says...wait a second. turns out...you have to use a special type of pen to vote...which i never got from the girl who gave me the ballot. the print out when i put my ballot through said defective...but no one checked it and had i walked out of that place without her seeing me put the pen back in my purse...it would have been like i didn't even vote.

i get another ballot, go through the whole process again but fuck up, so i have to do another one. third times a charm with me i guess...i finally put it through, it's accepted and i walk out of there slightly annoyed and slightly satisfied...

i can't even imagine the amount of problems there are going to be tonight after work lets out...
good luck obama