giving thanks

when asked what am i thankful for...my answer is that i'm thankful for stuff every day, i don't need a commemorative day to make my feelings real.

my cousin didn't think that answer was appropriate and told me it wasn't thoughtful

maybe it wasn't...

i mean i don't really get thanksgiving...it's a time to get together...gorge yourself stupid and relish in being lazy.

i like food...i like eating...but a holiday which basically tells you to eat like it's your last meal and then eat like that again and again...shows me there is something wrong with this countries relationship with food.

i will admit i like having the day off from work and who doesn't enjoy the idea of being lazy...but i do that on any given weekend so this remains no more special than any other day.

maybe it's the getting together with your family thing that draws people to this holiday...i guess i can get behind that...

unfortunately that doesn't really work for me either...i love my family but they can be a bit much...holidays make them more intense than usual. i've been a loaner for so long sometimes i can't shut it off. so although i get a really warm reception when i wind up at these things i usually do my best to avoid them all together. i just end up sitting in a corner over analyzing everyone and shaking my head way too much.

i don't know...i'm just this person.

i will say that although holidays make me loopy, this is the beginning of the time of year where i just can't help but be in a good mood. there is an allure about it all. there is a different smell in the air...people are more tolerable...the city itself looks sparkling. holding hands, huddling for warmth, hot cocoa, autumn leaves, first snow, furry boots, cashmere scarfs, blinking lights, fireplaces, buzz, buzz, buzz...it all screams out to me. so although thanksgiving doesn't resonate with me...the beginning it represents brings out my best.

and to satisfy my cousin...today i'm thankful for
little brothers
my father's features
my mother's heart
my parents faith in me
15yrs of sade...2yrs of hank and dio
those blue eyes
my records
real BFFs
flannel sheets
living in a bubble and all it offers
someone special who told me i'm more important and meant it