good & bye

i just got done finishing the movie shop girl.
i can't say i was particularly impressed by it and i vaguely remember reading reviews when it came out that said it wasn't really that great...maybe i should have read the book instead.

the movie, although sort of hit and miss...did have some poignant parts which semi reflected my life and left me thinking about how i had spent the earlier part of this year.

much like the characters in the movie, me played by claire danes (maribelle), him played by steve martin (ray)...at the end of the story i wind up happy and with someone who loves me, he winds up missing me. funny how those things work out.

in the story, maribelle was wooed by this older man, ray. she gave him anything and everything she could, whilst he kept his distance but played the part to the best of his abilities...never actually being able to master the commitment. living a fantasy littered with fancy things, paid for dinners and romantic weekends, the dream continues for a while but everyone in the audience is waiting for the bottom to fall out. and then it happens...she asks him "why don't you love me?" which was asked in a way which i always asked "him" "why won't you choose me?" and ray doesn't have an answer. like i said...movie mimics real life in an uncanny way.

eventually, just like i did, maribelle moves on, hurt now but knowing that either way the hurt would be there...much like how i looked at it "it just all depends on when you want to deal with it". and i imagine just like in this movie we think about eachother from time to time, sometimes at the same time without even knowing it.

in the end, they see each other, her with the new person in her life (jeremy), a person who "surpasses" ray in all aspects, because jeremy can give her what ray never could...his whole self. ray finally tells maribelle that he did love her and that he was sorry for how things turned out...she cries...but once you move forward you can't go back...because we all know that often what's broken can't be fixed.

maribelle says goodbye and runs into the arms of the one who actually can give her what she needs...

i don't know what happens from there cause the credits roll...but i imagine the characters see each other from time to time, still do that thinking thing but move on to live the lives they were supposed to live.

i think the saddest part about the whole thing...fiction or not...is that the time lost...the time and heart you give to someone else...and how most people only care about it when you're gone.