hating stuff

i'm extremely frustrated right now...unfortunately i wish i could say it was just at one thing but it's so many things all balled up into a voltron of crappity crap

i broke down and cried at practice tonight...
my leg won't let me do what i want it to, and there isn't any time for it to get any better.

having been injured twice in the last 2 months i have really let my fitness go and it's showing.
i feel fat, i feel weak, i feel tired

to top it all off, my lack of employment has left me apathetic and i really want to do nothing all the time...
i'm probably a little depressed too.

i can name only a couple of things that make me happy right now...and at least 2 of those are mildly stressful.

derby is supposed to be my solace...it's supposed to be my retreat...something i'm good at that i can just do...

i can't just do it right now and it's bumming me out...

maybe it's my period...maybe it's my need for a personal pity party...
i'm sure i'll be fine tomorrow...
i hate it...and i want to cry...well cry some more...