i can't stop laughing at this...
i can't stop smiling cause this is my life...
i love it...
i love him!
3 years ago
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
good & bye
i just got done finishing the movie shop girl.
i can't say i was particularly impressed by it and i vaguely remember reading reviews when it came out that said it wasn't really that great...maybe i should have read the book instead.
the movie, although sort of hit and miss...did have some poignant parts which semi reflected my life and left me thinking about how i had spent the earlier part of this year.
much like the characters in the movie, me played by claire danes (maribelle), him played by steve martin (ray)...at the end of the story i wind up happy and with someone who loves me, he winds up missing me. funny how those things work out.
in the story, maribelle was wooed by this older man, ray. she gave him anything and everything she could, whilst he kept his distance but played the part to the best of his abilities...never actually being able to master the commitment. living a fantasy littered with fancy things, paid for dinners and romantic weekends, the dream continues for a while but everyone in the audience is waiting for the bottom to fall out. and then it happens...she asks him "why don't you love me?" which was asked in a way which i always asked "him" "why won't you choose me?" and ray doesn't have an answer. like i said...movie mimics real life in an uncanny way.
eventually, just like i did, maribelle moves on, hurt now but knowing that either way the hurt would be there...much like how i looked at it "it just all depends on when you want to deal with it". and i imagine just like in this movie we think about eachother from time to time, sometimes at the same time without even knowing it.
in the end, they see each other, her with the new person in her life (jeremy), a person who "surpasses" ray in all aspects, because jeremy can give her what ray never could...his whole self. ray finally tells maribelle that he did love her and that he was sorry for how things turned out...she cries...but once you move forward you can't go back...because we all know that often what's broken can't be fixed.
maribelle says goodbye and runs into the arms of the one who actually can give her what she needs...
i don't know what happens from there cause the credits roll...but i imagine the characters see each other from time to time, still do that thinking thing but move on to live the lives they were supposed to live.
i think the saddest part about the whole thing...fiction or not...is that the time lost...the time and heart you give to someone else...and how most people only care about it when you're gone.
i can't say i was particularly impressed by it and i vaguely remember reading reviews when it came out that said it wasn't really that great...maybe i should have read the book instead.
the movie, although sort of hit and miss...did have some poignant parts which semi reflected my life and left me thinking about how i had spent the earlier part of this year.
much like the characters in the movie, me played by claire danes (maribelle), him played by steve martin (ray)...at the end of the story i wind up happy and with someone who loves me, he winds up missing me. funny how those things work out.
in the story, maribelle was wooed by this older man, ray. she gave him anything and everything she could, whilst he kept his distance but played the part to the best of his abilities...never actually being able to master the commitment. living a fantasy littered with fancy things, paid for dinners and romantic weekends, the dream continues for a while but everyone in the audience is waiting for the bottom to fall out. and then it happens...she asks him "why don't you love me?" which was asked in a way which i always asked "him" "why won't you choose me?" and ray doesn't have an answer. like i said...movie mimics real life in an uncanny way.
eventually, just like i did, maribelle moves on, hurt now but knowing that either way the hurt would be there...much like how i looked at it "it just all depends on when you want to deal with it". and i imagine just like in this movie we think about eachother from time to time, sometimes at the same time without even knowing it.
in the end, they see each other, her with the new person in her life (jeremy), a person who "surpasses" ray in all aspects, because jeremy can give her what ray never could...his whole self. ray finally tells maribelle that he did love her and that he was sorry for how things turned out...she cries...but once you move forward you can't go back...because we all know that often what's broken can't be fixed.
maribelle says goodbye and runs into the arms of the one who actually can give her what she needs...
i don't know what happens from there cause the credits roll...but i imagine the characters see each other from time to time, still do that thinking thing but move on to live the lives they were supposed to live.
i think the saddest part about the whole thing...fiction or not...is that the time lost...the time and heart you give to someone else...and how most people only care about it when you're gone.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
ppppffftttt
i haven't been writing because my life is one big mess right now
well that's sort of an exaggeration...
which i'm personally prone to
i tried to explain this once to a "friend"
about how life isn't so insane but in my little bubble certain things just make me want to eat my young...
i mean i literally feel like i'm losing it all the time over certain things..
recently i keep putting things on my plate and then getting side tracked when trying to complete them
the only thing i have actually finished is the acquisition of a guitar which i've had for about a month and i have still not tried to learn how to play
i also bought myself a new macbook with the intention of writing more and yet i sit on it aimlessly making new photos in photobooth and perusing the www apparently for the page where it ends...
a lot of emotional stuff is happening for me too...most of it i can't talk about...oh secrets...but it does all mostly revolve around
growing up, looking at my life, figuring it all out
what i want to keep from my past and my present and what i want to let go
i thought i was supposed to have all this figured out with my new years resolutions of letting ships sail on and shit, but like most things in life, i can't stick to any of it.
i was looking at my hands today and they are getting old.
i mean...they are just not how i remember them...they have these lines that weren't there before...i'm not scared of wrinkles but i'm scared of the time line that comes with them.
life is moving fast but nothing is changing...it's some weird cycle...maybe the reason why most people in their 30s say that the 20s sucked...
what is that about?
and with that...
i gotta start being ok with being alone
you think after 10 years of willy nilly kissing and hugging i'd get the bigger picture
but...
some of us are also slightly brain damaged
alone isn't so bad
at least alone i can't get into t.r.o.u.b.l.e.
well that's sort of an exaggeration...
which i'm personally prone to
i tried to explain this once to a "friend"
about how life isn't so insane but in my little bubble certain things just make me want to eat my young...
i mean i literally feel like i'm losing it all the time over certain things..
recently i keep putting things on my plate and then getting side tracked when trying to complete them
the only thing i have actually finished is the acquisition of a guitar which i've had for about a month and i have still not tried to learn how to play
i also bought myself a new macbook with the intention of writing more and yet i sit on it aimlessly making new photos in photobooth and perusing the www apparently for the page where it ends...
a lot of emotional stuff is happening for me too...most of it i can't talk about...oh secrets...but it does all mostly revolve around
growing up, looking at my life, figuring it all out
what i want to keep from my past and my present and what i want to let go
i thought i was supposed to have all this figured out with my new years resolutions of letting ships sail on and shit, but like most things in life, i can't stick to any of it.
i was looking at my hands today and they are getting old.
i mean...they are just not how i remember them...they have these lines that weren't there before...i'm not scared of wrinkles but i'm scared of the time line that comes with them.
life is moving fast but nothing is changing...it's some weird cycle...maybe the reason why most people in their 30s say that the 20s sucked...
what is that about?
and with that...
i gotta start being ok with being alone
you think after 10 years of willy nilly kissing and hugging i'd get the bigger picture
but...
some of us are also slightly brain damaged
alone isn't so bad
at least alone i can't get into t.r.o.u.b.l.e.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
<3
She's not at work, she's not at school,
she's not in bed, I think I finally broke her.
I bring her home everything I want, and nothing that she needs.
I thought she'd be there holding daisies, she always waits for me.
She thinks she missed the train to Mars, she's out back counting stars.
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